Follow Up On Fears

low angle photo of road while raining

Photo by Brooke Lewis on

In follow up to my discussion about time, I wanted to follow up with some transitional thoughts.  It’s amazing how the universe can shift with a simple decision.  As soon as I made the decision to enter B-School and commit to myself to see this business through, I began feeling differently.

The first thing I felt was relief at being able to call my own shots.  There are few things we have control over in this world and to take the steps toward a goal we’ve had for a long time is indescribable on some levels.  The realness that enters your life once you’ve made a decision is awesome–it becomes something finite and tangible rather than speculation.  That in itself is a relief.

I felt excitement to begin building.  I’ve had the opportunity to facilitate projects before, but this is the first one that is entirely my own.  That sense of potential and the feeling that precedes the beginning of something big is electrifying.

Suddenly things began to get clear.  I was able to see the next steps that previously seemed unattainable or overwhelming.  Additionally the goal itself became clear because that feeling of having to accomplish it all or wanting to go in a million directions faded.  The purpose of the path I chose became the driving force rather than the end result.

Finally, acceptance that in order to fully move forward, I need to let my old way of being die.  I need to let go of all the resistance and the need to shape my life as I see it—it’s time to let it all flow organically.  I’ve asked to grow and this is what it takes to be positioned better to get to the next level.  “Endings are necessary to experience beginnings and beginnings are required for growth.” Vibe of the day—Law of Attraction.  A few weeks ago I wrote about beginnings and endings and to get this validation today after taking massive action was all the confirmation I needed that I am on the right path.

With that acceptance of the need to let go, I’ve also felt some separation and loneliness at work because things are moving around me and without me.  But, as I mentioned above, I’ve got to let go of the connection to this life in order to fully embrace the life I’m building.  I can’t keep a foot where I’m at because that is going to keep me from fulfilling what I need to.

As scared as I’ve been of time and of what comes next (specifically that things won’t ever be how they were) I see now that it’s just the natural progression of life.  There is beauty in movement.  There is grace in progress.  There is comfort in acceptance.  And all it took was taking that first step.  I say to the universe, “Lead on.”

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