I’m struggling to be grateful today. Honestly, I’m overwhelmed and frustrated and I feel alone. This week was not easy and I had sincerely hoped for some time to recover this weekend but that hasn’t happened. I know that it is extremely important to focus on gratitude right now because that is the only thing that can turn my situation around at this point. So I will try.
I am grateful for my health. In spite of feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck due to lack of sleep, I am still healthy overall. I am able to move, I am able to breathe, I can see, I can feel. I still have the opportunity to improve, but I am still in good health and I don’t take that for granted.
I am grateful for the energy I do have. While I feel less than myself as of late, I am working on applying my energy more efficiently and toward the things that really matter. I appreciate the energy I have because that means there is something to direct it towards and a purpose for it. I can choose what to do with it—and for all of us, choice is everything.
I am grateful for my family. We are facing our share of challenges at the moment and knowing how to move forward is definitely uncertain. But my family is here and we have the opportunity to fix the situation. I chose to commit to them a long time ago and that hasn’t been without its bruises, but I believe that people need time and the opportunity to act to their potential. No one is perfect and I have to learn to deal with the imperfections in myself as well as in the people I love.
I am grateful to have the means to care for my family and my animals. The work I do is all to provide a good life for all of them. The life we all deserve. I am grateful for the comfort of having our needs met with a little extra.
I am grateful to have found purpose. I am working diligently toward my goals every day. Some days the steps are smaller than others, but I do something every day. Having direction beyond the eat-sleep-pay bills routine is refreshing and comforting. It’s also exciting because there is so much potential in the work I am doing and I am so grateful for the opportunity to share it.
I am grateful to be working toward the break that I need. The last few weeks, really since the middle of January, I have felt like I was running on fumes. I know I am in real need of some time to reconnect with my soul. Not just time away, but time to reconnect with myself again. I will be taking some time in a few weeks but I have the opportunity to take more as I need it.
I am grateful to understand the choices I need to make regarding my personal and professional relationships. Both arenas involve letting go of what people think of me and sticking with the decisions that are right for my path. They involve not letting other people’s opinions impede what needs to be done. They involve working toward the change that I advocate for and believe in without being concerned someone won’t like me.
I am grateful to be building my resilience even further. In the process of aligning with creativity, there are many bumps, ups, downs, feelings of failure, feelings of uncertainty. It’s all part of the process as you learn what really matters. All of those things that direct you where you need to be are not a straight line and you have to practice going with it to learn the lesson. I am working on that every step I take and learning to bounce back faster.
I am grateful to have kept my priorities straight today. I meal prepped, I took care of the sick animal to the best of my ability, I took care of my child, did laundry, and all the other things that needed to be done. But I also didn’t let myself wallow in the crap that was this week. I easily could have forgone being grateful in favor of wallowing—but I didn’t. I know this is the example I want to give to my son. I want him to be able to say that no matter how tough things are, there is still a lot more to be grateful for—and to believe it and practice it.
I am grateful that as I type this it is early enough in the day that I can still turn the afternoon around and prepare for a better week. I will continue to work on the things I can and to focus on what is in front of me. I will let go of speculation and anticipating the worst. I will keep the best in mind and continue to move forward. The storm doesn’t last forever.