I haven’t been feeling very good lately. How I feel on a given day feels a little like the roll of the dice. Admittedly, I haven’t been taking care of myself like I should and I’ve definitely over-indulged with food over the last week—still enjoying the holiday 😊. It only makes sense why I feel a little off. I know I was left unsettled after this weekend with my husband and questioning what our future holds. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed.
I’ve spoken a lot over the last few months about going with what feels right. I think I’m disappointed in myself because I’m not listening to my heart and I’m not admitting what I’m really feeling. What I’m feeling is uncertainty and fear that things won’t turn out how I want them to. I don’t want to admit that I’m afraid to let go of control because I don’t know what the future holds.
As I was thinking about these fears today, I came across a quote that talked about getting to the other side of fear. It’s a long hard walk, and I know I have to do the work to get through. Speaking about these things, no matter how much I believe in growth and change, does nothing without action. And I’ve spoken about that too! It seems I need to take my own advice and take some action.
I wish I had more support in creating this vision but I will not let that stop me. Progress is good and it doesn’t matter how long it takes—as long as I keep moving. Sometimes we need a reminder to keep going. I know that the leaps I’ve made over the last few months have been scary to a lot of people. They aren’t comfortable seeing me take this kind of authority in my life and, quite frankly, they don’t really like it. So the reminder I needed was to know that I can do this. As long as I continue on the path that works for me, I know the right people will find me. This is not my final destination, it is a stepping stone.
Perhaps when others are uncomfortable with the successes we have (no matter how small) it says more of their character than yours. If someone is uncomfortable with your success, you can ask whether or not they really belong in your life. As painful as it may be, eliminating that kind of energy drain can be the very thing that unfurls your wings. I think the lesson is to have faith in your own ability and to know that you will find your team once you find your authenticity.
We all get off track every now and then and it is ok to keep going. For me, “going” means getting my eating habits back in line, hydrating, keeping myself rested, expressing my creativity, and keeping to my boundaries. As the nature of the universe would have it, right as I’m trying to get myself back on track, Marie Forleo is conducting a new class on reviewing our previous accomplishments and preparing for the next decade. This is something that I am going to be participating in and I will write about my progress here. I’m excited because the first day is about reviewing what you are most proud of over the last 10 years as well as what you learned the most from. There is a lot of material for me to go through but I’m excited to do the work. If our ability to receive is measured by how much we practice feeling good things then it stands that to get rid of the melancholy of the last few days, I have to start feeling better. I’m excited.