A Surge Forward

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I listened to Marie Forleo this afternoon and she was asked about some cool things she’s done with money.  Her first goal was to get out of debt.  Once she hit that, her next goal was to be able to afford to not work again if she didn’t have to.  She hit that goal as well.  This is so powerful because this is about setting a goal and speaking it into existence and not giving into our crap, owning what we need to do and DOING IT.

I realized that these were goals I wanted to set for myself as well.  I had never thought before that I could ask for something like that, or work toward something like that.  I had assumed that we always operate under debt and that we work until we are permitted to stop.  I want to take control of my destiny and look at the big goals, the big picture.  I have a message to share and that includes getting clear on what works for me and not shying away from my goals even if others view them as unrealistic or taboo.

I want to be completely debt free.  I’m talking about having enough income to pay off existing debt and afford all future needs.  I want to be able to never have to work for someone again.  I want to be able to spend my time doing the work I love and sharing my message, my gifts.  THAT is my job.

In order to do that, I’m dropping all barriers to success, opening to magic.  I want complete freedom in my life.  I’m raising myself to the next level.  I’m giving up the demanding child inside of me that waits for someone to meet my needs and I am stepping into the confident, calm, secure, powerful, capable woman I am.  I’m giving up laziness for action.  I’m giving up fear for courage.  I’m giving up who I thought I was and who I “had” to be for the woman I AM and WANT to be.  I feel so blessed to have this life, the life I want, rushing toward me, unfolding, welcoming me.  It feels like home.

Prior to finding real mentors (not people out for their own purposes) and real guides, I’ve often lived in the in between.  You know, between two worlds.  Between being a perfectionist, and feeling helpless, feeling powerful and powerless, feeling like the boss, and feeling like a doormat.  It took me a long time to realize the flux between the two dynamics came from not knowing my own identity or standing my ground.  Simultaneously, I would hide and show myself.  It came from not owning MY truth.  From trying to be something I wasn’t.  From using my time to prove my worth (and believing I needed to prove myself).  It came from being the chameleon in every group, no matter who I was with I wanted to be their ideal member.  I let myself live in a constant state of non-identification.  It led to a state of non-connection.  No connection with myself, with people, with source, or with purpose.

When you’re not connected and always moving between identities/groups/norms, you’re on shaky ground, not a solid foundation.  When you have a solid foundation, even if YOU’RE shaky, there’s a steadying force that can help put you right.  Trying to be a pleaser (the chameleon) where you’re always changing your skin keeps you out of connection because you’re focused on being what others want you to be.  when you build a foundation on authentic self, the self that is connected, you know who you are in every situation.  YOU ARE YOU.  You’re not shifting your personality to be accepted or changing your behavior.  You know what’s meant for you and accept it and move on from what isn’t you.  We attract what is ours with no force—the universe wants us to have what we need to fulfill our purpose.

For me, I feel my purpose when I’m speaking of these things.  I feel my purpose when I see signs and affirmations that I’m on the right track.  For example, this morning, my Super Attractor card was “I accept that good things come easily, I am a super attractor.”  Shortly after I wrote out the draft of this, I kept seeing 1119 EVERYWHERE—and today is 11/19.  I looked it up as an angel number and it is indicative of initiative, ambition, will power, self-leadership, assertiveness, instinct, intuition and CREATING OUR OWN REALITIES with thoughts, beliefs, and actions.  It spoke of goals almost being fulfilled and a higher purpose as a positive example for others.  It also spoke of recognizing new ventures and auspicious opportunities.  I mean, come on!!! That kind of confirmation that I am on the right path gives me the single greatest thrill that I feel all over my body.  THAT is the feeling we should all strive for every day.  That is how you know you found your purpose.  I’m so grateful to feel that.  Now I am asking the big questions: how to be in that state every day.  One step at a time.

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