Another Look at Honesty

Photo by Magda Ehlers on

Let’s talk about honesty for a moment.  SO much of what I’ve shared over the years has been about embracing self and learning self-acceptance.  If we are going to profess accepting others, then we need to learn what that looks and feels like and the way we can do that is by accepting who we are.  I was listening to some music from my high school days and a lyric struck me.  “And you should know that the lies won’t hide your flaws,” Stewart, Humprhey, Weigemoed.  I feel like so often we are told things that are meant to help but can be harmful.  The whole premise of fake it ‘til you make it.  I 100% agree it can give you the confidence to go after something you may not have been comfortable doing before.  But if you are putting yourself in a situation that you’re not comfortable with or that you know isn’t you, then what’s the point? You will never get the results you’re looking for staying in a situation like that.

Staying in a situation that isn’t for you can lead to the belief that you’re not good enough when in reality, you’re a fish trying to fly.  It will never happen.  That has nothing to do with how good you are or the type of person you are, but the fact is a fish will never truly fly.  If you measure yourself in that manner, you will always be less than and never measure up to anything good enough. That requires a depth of insight into who you are and accepting that you’re a fish.  You can be the greatest fish out there and accomplish amazing things, but you can’t change the fact of what you are. 

Radical honesty isn’t about cutting yourself down or feeling bad about what you can’t do. It’s about working with what you have to get to where you want to be.  Using our friendly fish again, they can’t expect to move the same way an animal with legs does.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Putting on fake legs as a fish won’t get you anywhere because you have no context in how to use them.  But you can swim faster than anything else out there.  Don’t view who you are as a flaw.  Embrace and love that person with all of your being and see how much further you can go.

The point of radical honesty is also to create space for other people to do the same and deconstruct ideas of what is right based on what we were told.  We spend a lot of time believing what we are told and working in a framework that was created under different circumstances sometimes centuries ago and then we are told we are bad if we can’t make that work for us.  We can turn that around.  Accepting who we are and making that space for someone else to do the same creates a fire throughout the world.  We can get honest about what works and eliminate habits that don’t work because we held onto them for no other reason than hubris.  Be who you are meant to be and allow others to do the same.  It’s easy to go with what we’ve been taught.  It’s much harder to go with the beat of your own heart at times because we aren’t sure if we will be heard.  I guarantee as we ignite the sparks in everyone throughout the world, we will see that we are far from alone.  Don’t be afraid to get vulnerable and honest about who you are.  That is where the magic is.  Hiding yourself won’t do you or anyone else any favors.       

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