Today I am grateful for a new practice. I’ve spent the past week waking up every morning and writing down my gratitude. I ended 2021 in a highly emotional and chaotic state, trying to reconcile all of the things I want to accomplish and I knew I didn’t want to keep moving forward like that. So I carved out time every day to talk about what I am grateful for in my life. My days have shifted. Yes, there are still headaches, but seeing the big picture and knowing that there is so much good out there makes it easier to move through the day.
Today I am grateful for healing. This one touches on so many levels, some of them are still really raw. Our lives are so fragile as strong as we try to be. Maybe that’s why we want to appear strong—we know that anything can be taken away so we strive to appear in control. Or maybe that’s me, I don’t know. But when we look at all of our time here, the pain we feel tends to dominate and it tends to permeate lifetimes as we pass on our traits to our kids. Focused work and intention makes it so much clearer and easier to deal with that pain. I feel the weight of the work and I carry it gratefully.
Today I am grateful for the reminders that come right on time. My husband and I started our relationship in a fairly unusual way (well, maybe the situation was normal but the initial notion we had wasn’t) and we are still going. At the beginning, we found some common ground that neither of us expected in a film franchise that is still going 20 years later. The universe constantly sends reminders to me that we are meant to work together as whenever we have difficult times, this film seems to come on somewhere, somehow. It’s a loving reminder that we still need to find common ground sometimes and that the things you least expect to work are perfect exactly as they are.
Today I am grateful for my parents. Our relationship is changing as they are getting older and I am so grateful for the reminders of how important they are to me. How lucky I’ve been to have the life I’ve had. Yes, in spite of the trauma talk and the stories I’ve been sharing about the time with my mother, I am so grateful. Our time here is so short and we truly do the best we can with what we have. I don’t claim it is easy to look beyond what happened or that I’m not still triggered when we speak. But I am so lucky to know that I still have them and that I can adjust my perspective any time.
Today I am grateful to learn to rely on my wings again. This situation with my parents has reminded me that nothing lasts forever. More importantly, it has reminded me that we are meant to develop our own security and carve out our own path in life. I’m taking steps I’ve never taken because I didn’t believe in myself before now. But there comes a point when you simply have to leap and start flapping to learn to fly. The same comes with life. There comes a point when you have to start doing in order to get things done and to learn what needs to be done.
Today I am grateful to slow down. One of my vices is going too fast. I’m always in hyper drive trying to get as much done as possible so I’m not always taking everything in and I’m too often relying on my own strength to fit everything in. I’m learning that sometimes the way to get things done isn’t to push or to go faster—it’s to slow down. When we go faster not only do we miss some of the picture, we open up more time for more things to be done. We can live life on a never ending check list because there is literally ALWAYS something that needs doing. But we have to learn to ask ourselves if we are the ones responsible for taking it all on. Are we the ones who need to be doing it? So I’m making it a practice to get organized and do what I AM responsible for. It makes all the difference.
Wishing you all a wonderful week ahead