Happy Halloween All!!
Today I am grateful for my health. I woke up at 10PM with a coughing fit the other night. I went to the bathroom to not wake up the family and it wouldn’t stop. I went on the couch and it just wouldn’t stop…deep, painful coughs. My son hasn’t been well so I really didn’t want to wake him up. I tried to go down stairs and I slipped on the first step, bending my foot beneath me and I fell. I ended up breaking three toes. Not the most devastating injury, but painful nonetheless. I’ve had broken toes before and I knew how to treat it and I will say I am proud of my body’s resilience. I’ve put myself through so much hell over the years and abused this vessel…and it still stands strong and heals. I am so happy that it wasn’t worse. It gave me a reason to remember that I need to take care of myself in order to stay strong and fulfill what I am here to do.
Today I am grateful for nature—it was a PERFECT day. This may seem so cliché but I’m going to be “that girl” for a second. So many things change, so fast, and seeing it happen as fall has fully taken over always reminds me of that. It also reminds me that I don’t fear the changing of the season, so maybe I don’t need to fear the changes in my own life. When I talk about the chaos that has been happening around me (and in me) for the last few months, I’m not exaggerating when I say I don’t know if I feel at ease about much, really. So when I sit in my office and am able to watch the trees blowing in the wind on an absolutely stunning day, settled where I am and feeling safe in the moment, I feel so connected. Not just to myself, but to all of nature. I see I am part of the cycle.
Today I am grateful for setting boundaries. So often in my life I’ve allowed myself to be the victim because I’m the small girl and I’ve been self-conscious enough that I didn’t allow myself to express who I was and what I am really capable of. I didn’t believe in myself enough to stand firmly in who I am and I gave in too many times to what other people told me I should be doing. I have some amazing friends and I know they truly care but they have a tendency to steamroll me when it comes to my child. Today I was completely in tune with my child and I knew what we were doing and I knew what I wanted our first Halloween in two years to look like—and he was on the same page. My friends interfered quite a bit because they wanted him to have the “right” gloves and the “right” trick or treat bag. I literally looked at them and told them, “We know what we are doing,” and we went on our way. Again, I love these people and appreciate what they do, but this is something I do not need them to help with. I am capable on all levels of having fun with my child, and I can trust who I am to be a good mother. Zero regrets.
Today I am grateful for a beautiful time with my son. We had the most AMAZING day together. The weather was perfect, we dressed up, he ran from house to house LOVING everything about it. He looked at me and said, “This is the best day ever! I love Halloween. Thank you for taking me trick-or-treating!” My heart swelled and I knew I was doing a good job. We got home, made some pizza, I gave him a bath, and we were just totally on the same page together. THIS is what I love about being a mom. This is what I love about spending time with my son. This is what I love about remembering how to find joy—kids know it so well and it felt great to be a part of that.
Today I am grateful for reminders of joy. As I said above, kids know how to find joy and we all need to remember that every now and then. Seeing the entire neighborhood swarming with kids reminded me of something I haven’t seen since childhood. Seeing all of the neighbors out and talking with each other just enjoying being together felt like home. Seeing life again, seeing so much joy, seeing so much happiness solidified exactly what I’ve been missing. There is so much life that happens when we let it.
Remember to let it happen!! Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead!