Today I am grateful for family. We spent the entire day Saturday doing family stuff. It felt absolutely amazing. I am so privileged to be able to get out and enjoy nature with my husband and son and I am so grateful to enjoy time with my siblings and parents. This world feels so harsh sometimes…and we all need little reminders of the gentleness that exists. We have to make room for it, whether it is getting out on the water or making an incredible homemade dinner. I cherish my time with my family. I wouldn’t be where I am without them and I am so happy to create something that will make everyone comfortable in the future.
Today I am grateful for positive influences in my life. I spent a lot of time looking at other people and feeling left out, like I had done something wrong to no be able to acquire what they had or to be where they are. I started doing some real internal work and evaluated where that mindset was coming from. Then I started shifting what I allowed into my world. I wanted authenticity, I wanted honesty, I wanted progress, and I wanted purpose and I cut out what wasn’t that. Changing what (and who) you surround yourself with changes everything.
To add to that, today I am grateful for humility. I found myself in a small spiral of comparison-itis where I went down the trap of looking at an old friend’s feed and finding myself really jealous. In that moment, I saw this person and realized she had done nearly everything I wanted to do with my life—and still want to do. Everything from going to Paris and London to creating lasting relationships with people, to having kids with her friends, to accepting her life exactly as it was. Now, I’ve known this woman for a long time and she is NOT one to share a highlight real. I’ve seen her work her way through demons and constantly get crapped on and stand up on the other side. What she shares is simply what has happened, and while I don’t begrudge her anything (honestly I don’t—like I said I’ve see her through her darkest days), I found myself wallowing that it hasn’t happened to me. But I stopped myself. I have an amazing life and I am so fortunate and her successes don’t minimize mine. My time will come. We are just on a different path.
Today I am grateful to recognize limits. I have been pushing a lot lately because I know I can do more and I’ve recognized where I’m lazy. Lazy is not a limit, and that is a key distinction. I’m talking about when I’ve been actively making an effort where I’m able and where I need to and stepping up when called. I’ve been in that mode for a while and I think I’ve fixated on one area while needing to expand on others. I’ve been pushing myself to keep up with my side work—which needs to be done—but I have been worn out and struggling to complete it. I’m tired. Not that I want to quit, but I know pushing when I’m in that state will not create productive material or be a productive use of time. So I’m happy to recognize limits in that when I’m striving to create a more creative life, I need to be able to transition when things aren’t working.
Today I am grateful to move my body. I’m not a young kid anymore and sometimes it’s easy to ignore the passage of time when you’ve been with the same person for two decades. We’ve changed energy, yes, but we feed off of each other. That’s how we’ve made it work for so long. Regardless, I felt myself getting physically lazy from being mentally drained, and I knew I had to get off my butt and do something. Plus I knew I needed to do something different to clear that mental fog. As fate would have it, I found my old roller blades. I had been debating buying roller skates to try something completely new, but the timing saw that I got what I needed. I haven’t roller bladed in over 20 years but I was able to get right back up and into it. Not gracefully or anything, but you know, I didn’t die…small victories 😊. It felt so good.
Today I am grateful to try something new. We’ve been in the new house for a few months and we’ve spoken with our neighbors, but I’ve kept my guard up. This morning, a lovely calm settled over us after a storm, and the sun came out. We all just happened to go outside within a few minutes of each other and we stood talking and sharing stories. It felt like a different kind of welcome. It was the first time I’ve allowed myself to be seen with this group and it felt really nice. Honestly, it felt like the beginning of something we can do for a long time and I am grateful to find a new support system.
Today I am grateful to be. I am truly happy where I am. The urge I have to keep pushing forward is not a matter of glossing over where I’m at, it’s an excitement for what I know is possible. There was a point I never thought I would even get here. And I am so grateful for the steps that brought me here. I feel like I have the foundation for the next steps in my life, and I don’t take that for granted. I am grateful to fulfill my purpose.
Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.