“People don’t need to be saved or rescued; People need knowledge of their own power and how to access it,” via paradise awakening. Oh my friends, another talk about the mind. Our thoughts are so incredibly powerful. I let myself be blown in the wind, changing moment to moment and allowing my feelings to respond accordingly. Throw in the nasty habit of distraction and thoughts moved on hyperdrive so I could barely focus enough to grasp something to get a real gauge on what I was thinking versus what was happening around me. It was so easy to think it was just the circumstances.
I developed an unhealthy need to control because I didn’t like the way people made me feel. I would see a behavior I didn’t agree with and immediately shut down or I would start correcting them and making a case that my opinion was the way to go. I pushed people away because they did one thing to upset me. I expected them to do the same to me. It took me a long time to even realize that I reacted a certain way—my feelings came from me and I had a say in how I felt. It happened recently with some new people I met. Someone said something that alerted my asshole meter and I was ready to write them off immediately. But I’ve been channeling a lot of messages and something said, “Hey, you react like this a lot…is it really everyone around you?” And my logical brain went, “Huh. I guess it’s not possible that every person is terrible. I’m the common link here.”
Like I tend to do, I started a look back to see what this was really about. As a child and through young adulthood, I saw the pattern of jumping in and helping, sometimes when I wasn’t asked. Other times I performed because it felt good to be needed. People in my peer group as well as some adults recognized my ability to problem solve and they pounced on that. I never learned to develop healthy boundaries or healthy relationships based on who I was—it was always based on what I could give. So as I got older, I hardened myself to those around me. It was protection against being taken advantage of.
This world has little to do with what others think of us. More often than not we are lost in our own worlds and most people around us are as well. So while I walked around thinking I had the right idea, fearful people were just using me, the reality is they were just doing what was right for them in the moment. They rarely had long-term nefarious plans to use me, we were working toward mutual benefit. More importantly, we needed each other.
We are all looking to save ourselves and that is where we can really help each other. We all have strengths and weaknesses and that doesn’t make us better or worse than anyone. It makes us collaborators. We can help remind each other of our individual greatness and how we can use our unique gifts to benefit each other. We aren’t here to rescue, we are here to elevate—and that is something we can all do.