Today I am grateful for healing. I read a quote the other day about the nervous system being over activated and needing to focus on healing the inflammation in order to recover. There is a physical reaction to over-stimulation and long-term anxiety. We truly feel what we think. For as much research as I have done into the human mind regarding anxiety, I never really considered the body’s reaction to emotion. In fact, I’ve always looked at the body as kind of an ancillary thing—something that just came along for the ride. But I have been so overly sensitive lately where any stimulation (sound, touch, scent, etc.) triggers me to the point of madness. I believe that I’ve lived on a hair pin trigger for so long that inflammation of the nervous system makes complete sense. I’m trying to focus now on slowing down.
Today I am grateful for my animals. I’ve been on super alert the last week, dealing with so many stressors and a ton of unknowns, trying to anticipate everyone’s next move all while trying to get my work done. I’ve also been trying to clean up the house and get things set up how I want them and I have run into so many old memories that I’m reliving and rehashing and the same message is coming up: let it go. I have felt so raw and over stimulated that my super intuitive animals have picked up on it. At first I was annoyed because they were constantly under foot, but this morning it hit me: they have been trying to help me. One of my cats is especially in tune and he has been all over me the last 24 hours in particular. This morning he just laid next to me purring while I draped over him. The dog has been especially close as well. These beautiful creatures know what we are going through. I am so lucky to have them in my life.
Today I am grateful for my intuition. Our neighbors made a lovely offer to go out with them to a public event and we declined, mainly because of my concerns with COVID. I also just had a really bad feeling, knowing that it wouldn’t be smooth or that it would be overly expensive and I knew there would be too many people there. We didn’t see them for the rest of the day and when they finally returned, they told us the event was the busiest it has ever been. I know we missed out on a day of doing something other than working on the house, but I am so glad we didn’t put ourselves in a position of getting sick. I guess that’s one plus for anxiety 😊
Today I am grateful to become an observer. I’ve been so deeply engrained in my emotions that I’ve lost sight of others around me. I have a piece on this coming up, but I know I haven’t been myself and I certainly haven’t shown up for those around me lately. I’ve spent too much time in my own world, holding so tightly to things long gone and demanding that people meet my expectations that I’m right back in a stranglehold. It’s time to release the hold and get back to a more global perspective.
Today I am grateful to choose. I’ve been living in fear about my life—my relationships to my family, my friends. My relationship to money. How I view the past and the future. How to get clear on what I actually want to do. I had misread the date on the calendar and I absolutely panicked about some bills and I told myself the same story (that we have to live super tightly from now on) and the anxiety just consumed me. My inner voice told me to stop and think it through. And I took a deep breath and saw my error. And in that moment I saw the unnecessary pain I caused myself and knew I could choose differently. Gaining emotional control is a huge fight for me but I am so grateful to recognize that I CAN do it. I don’t need to be an emotional wreck—I can choose better.
Today I am grateful for reminders that everything is just as it should be. Carrying stress and worry are never productive. It’s exhausting and unnecessary work and it makes me feel like crap. Everything has always worked out, one way or another. Being present and enjoying the time I have and knowing that I have the ability to care for myself allows me to slow down and enjoy the moment. To appreciate that I am here and that I am able and capable…of anything. My timing doesn’t matter—things truly unfold as they should. Being grateful reminds me of the foundation I’ve built and reminds me that I am truly blessed. All is well. Gabby Bernstein says, “The sooner you appreciate where you are, the faster you’ll get to where you want to be.” So here we are.
Wishing everyone a wonderful week ahead.