“It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view,” the Dalai Lama. This was a tough one for me to swallow and it brought out my formerly natural pessimistic state, particularly the victim mentality. I operated form a place where if something good happened to me then it meant something bad had to happen to someone else for a long time. And it was easy to believe that the “bad” things that happened to me were some kind of punishment. That I was meant to spend my time as a miserable human being, destined to go nowhere and I was supposed to be a doormat for others to succeed.
A ton of self-help later, I can fully acknowledge how bonkers those beliefs were. When we look at the intricacy of the world and how we are all connected, we quickly see that things happen for a reason. Even if we don’t get exactly what we want, we get what we need and things always turn out for the greater good. Our perception that we are victims comes from ego. But we do not operate in a bubble—everything has an impact so we are not always meant to get our way. Sometimes our loss is another’s gain and vice versa. The bottom line is that we all go through cycles and we all win and lose. It’s how we get back up that says something.
I really started looking at the quote and I understood it was more about perspective than anything. At the end, it says “from all points of view.” It’s important to acknowledge that our perception tells us more than the event itself. All events are neutral, it’s our mind that tells us how to feel about it and places judgement, telling us if it was “good” or “bad”. Our minds are clouded with preconceived notions as well as ego and preset beliefs. Our mind doesn’t tell us what actually happened. In fact, it creates a story around the event that puts us in the center and it often isn’t the reality of the situation when, most of the time, it has NOTHING to do with us. In all honesty, even when we react to other people, it doesn’t have to do with them or what they do—it has to do with what we believe about what they did.
The universe works in mysterious ways and there is most certainly a greater plan than ours. Not that we aren’t on track, but we are guided along that path. Putting aside ego in favor of what is good for all can be challenging, but it is also incredibly rewarding. We are trained to want to win in our society but the world flows much more smoothly when we all win. The universe doesn’t give a damn who wins or loses, it cares about what is right for all involved. Learning to put aside what we feel needs to happen in order to let the divine plan unfold is where it’s at. Nothing is personal—we are just trained to believe it is. So accept what is and work on training your mind to operate on behalf of something bigger than yourself because that is when you find your place in the story.