Today I am grateful to be able to make decisions. I have often taken for granted the ability to make a decision, thinking that I could put things off until they happened naturally. Life doesn’t work like that. Over the last two years, I’ve had two employees become terminally ill and I’ve seen what life looks like on the other side of that diagnosis. Having my health and the ability to make my life what I want it to is a gift. Not taking steps that I need to now, when I have the ability is an insult to that gift. For the last week, I’ve adapted my schedule to allow some time for a light workout in the morning and I’ve become even more rigorous with my diet. Those are decisions I’ve made to appreciate my life.
Today I am grateful to try to lean into what life is. I’ve never hidden that I’m a control freak and a perfectionist (well, recovering perfectionist). I’ve noticed as I’ve gotten older it has become harder and harder to maintain the standards that I set for myself—and I’m slowly learning to be ok with that. Being perfect isn’t what life is about—it’s about the experience. My husband woke up a bit late today, but he decided to make us breakfast. I meal prepped after he cooked and we ate, played with my son and the dogs for about an hour, finished the laundry, we had a late lunch, got the car washed, did some last minute shopping and came home. No plan, just what we needed to do.
Today I am grateful for new lessons. I’m reading a new book about facing fears and even though some of the concepts aren’t new, it is fascinating to see how different people apply the same concepts. In this book, she discusses finding and defining personal values. It is in narrowing down my values that I see how much I take on—and why it’s challenging to commit and finish something. Not that having values is a bad thing, but valuing so many things makes it more difficult to target your goals. As a side note, I also really appreciate being able to connect with the authors I’m reading. There is real value in seeing how someone lives their truth as well as how they came about their work.
Today I am grateful to get out of my head by putting others first. Both my sister and my boss have birthdays coming up so I took some time to buy them gifts and cards today. I spent time helping my husband with some issues with his feet. I spent time playing with my son—he’s in love with these Bend and Flex toys so we had an impromptu photo shoot. We are in the middle of another snow storm and my son and I spent some time outside catching snow flakes–and seeing his joy every time it snows is pure magic. I haven’t been sleeping well and I’ve been getting overwhelmed with work because of the uncertainty in that environment so it was nice to NOT fixate on what was bothering me for those moments in time.
Today I am grateful for reminders that I’m capable of doing things on my own. My husband was called into work yesterday and my son and I went about our business and I got some work done around the house and went to the store. I was trying to find a small gift for my husband because he was so frustrated with being called into work. I know that’s nothing abnormal, but I think we need to recognize as a whole how much work we do and how we are constantly trying to balance things that demand our attention. Right now, it is a freaking miracle to get through a day with the weight we are carrying and we need to honor that.
Today I am really looking forward to sleep. After more than a week of sleeping like crap, I’m so excited to rest tonight. I know there’s no guarantee that tonight will be any better but I am so tired, that I’m preparing myself to put my head on the pillow and knock out. I’m getting my diffuser ready and I’m going to have a super light meal and just relax.
Wishing you all a wonderful week ahead.