Today I am grateful for dreams. Over the last few weeks I have felt a distinct sense of loss and an inability to see what I wanted for the future. I could barely see how to make it to the end of the day and each morning I felt like there was nothing I wanted to do in that day. Nothing. Like everyone, there have been so many highs and lows over the last year that I’m struggling to make heads or tails of what is up or down, what really matters, and what I really want. There are moments I am so close to seeing it and I boldly declare, “This is it!” only to second guess myself a day later. But I am grateful to be able to look toward a future with some hope and to try and decide on a life I want—I still have that ability and that is a luxury.
Today I am grateful for nourishing food. I love to meal prep and to make sure I have healthy options on hand. After seeing what my mother went through a week ago, I feel so blessed for the reminder how our own action or inaction impacts our bodies. I am grateful for the reminder that our bodies are worth taking care of, that my body is worth taking care of. I am grateful that I get to decide how I want to treat myself and that I am able to nourish myself with real, healthy food.
Today I am grateful for the chaos of the last week. It was exhausting and terrifying and completely sideways from my normal life—but I saw first hand that I am able to do things differently. It took me a whole week to see that, but I am grateful the chaos showed me that I am able to accomplish the things I want to and that I am able to stretch in different directions and farther than I thought. Sometimes it takes pushing to the breaking point to see that you’re NOT going to break: you just have to learn to stretch a different way.
Today I am grateful that I have flexibility in my life. As much as I struggle with certain parts of institutions, I am grateful that I had the time to work when I needed and the time to stop when I needed. I am grateful that my family came together to find a solution to help with caring for my mother, my niece, and my son. I am grateful that this is taking me to the next level in letting go in my life.
Today I am grateful for love. Yes, I know it’s cheesy, but I have to recognize it. I wouldn’t be where I am without the people who love me. I’ve always thought love was a complicated emotion because it entails so much. But as I’m getting older I’m realizing that it isn’t complicated—you feel it and share it. We didn’t do anything special today (because there is a difference between recognizing love and feeling obligated to show it in extreme ways) but we were together. I made pink pancakes and we ran to the store, we had some lunch, and that was it.
Wishing you all a wonderful week ahead.