Little Bits

Photo by Gabby K on

I had an amazing moment on Sunday watching my husband and son play nerf darts together.  Completely uninhibited, running through the house, laughing and having a blast.  Hearing my son giggle uncontrollably and watching my husband patiently teach him how to play with the nerf gun completely warmed my heart.  These are the moments we need together.  I’ve gotten so caught up.  I’m always caught up.  No matter how hard I think about it and try to let it go, I’m always finding myself back in my head.  Watching them play today showed me how vitally necessary it is.  I struggle with shutting down—even though I know how good it feels, even though I know we all need to shut down every now and then—and I always regret it because I let myself burnout before I take any kind of break.

I’m working really hard to remember to take care of myself, especially my mental health.  Old dogs and new tricks, man, it is SO tough.  I appreciate this crew hearing the same things over for a while.  I promise I’m trying to break these habits.  I think I’m also really grateful that in spite of constantly forgetting these lessons, the universe is always bringing them back to me and saying—get your shit together.  We’re here now, enjoy it. 

After the debacle I shared with you about my mother’s health care, I took Monday off and I loved every second of it.  I was able to help my mother and take care of my kid as well as anything that needs to get done.  That emotional trauma will never go away, but I can learn to integrate it and take the lesson higher.  It spoke to so many things occurring in our nation because I know my mother is not alone in this.  We have to do better.  And (as sick as it sounds) I am thrilled to witness so many systems failing from healthcare, to education, to wall street.  Let’s keep peeling back the layers and exposing the truth in everything we do.

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