Today I am grateful for coming back to myself. I have a story that I will be sharing tomorrow that explains more of this, but I literally didn’t do anything that I didn’t want to today. While that may seem insignificant it is so important to my head-space. It wasn’t the least bit self-indulgent, it was about listening to what I needed and doing some basic self-care. I am continually amazed at how easily I forget to slow down…and I am glad I was able to remember today.
Today I am grateful for my husband’s help. It was all the little things I’ve needed help with so I could just shut down for a while and reboot. We hadn’t been on the greatest terms lately and it was wonderful to have his help. I know in spite of our arguments the last few days, he has still been concerned about me so it was really comforting to have him step up like he did.
Today I am grateful for being so close…to everything. I’ve always been the main support for my family (and I honestly have no issue with that) but it has always been disheartening when we’ve been so close to a goal and we can’t see it through or when we just aren’t able to decide on what we want to do. I’ve been working on gathering my focus, pruning what isn’t important, and setting my boundaries to get where I want to be and I see that effort paying off. There are still a lot of areas that I need to apply the same formula to—but I am so glad to be where I’m at now.
Today I am grateful for such a fun day with my son. I always make a concerted effort to spend more time with my boy on the weekends. It’s good for him, it’s good for my sanity, and I always learn a lot. We didn’t do anything extraordinary today but we made a lot of memories together and laughed and loved. I love those moments—that’s honestly why I talk about them so much. I know they don’t last forever and if I can give my kid a chance to remember some fun with his crazy mom then I’m doing it.
Today I am grateful to start seeing the pieces of myself that are me and the pieces I can let go of. I’ve been doing a lot of soul work and so much of me is entwined with my parents and even my grandparents. I noticed a while ago how much I perpetuated those things onto my son. I still have jarring moments when I don’t even notice I’m doing it (see “Recognizing My Obsession”) but I can very easily say what is and isn’t from myself. Now when I notice something that wasn’t from me, I ask, “Do I still need to do this? Why would I have to continue to do it this way?” And that has snapped me right back into the moment because it puts the decision squarely on me.
Today I am grateful to sit in this moment remembering my gratitude. I so easily fall back into my fear patterns because I haven’t fully trained myself to embrace the pause yet. There are times it’s really disappointing when I see myself so far from who I want to be. But I haven’t given up on continuing to be grateful—and I am grateful that there is always an opportunity to be grateful. I know in the grand scheme of things this is small potatoes, so even if I have a moment, I try to counter it with feeling gratitude. It has worked wonders.
Have a wonderful week!