I’m one of those people who feels like they can do it all, all the time.  It was literally in my upbringing that we don’t say no regardless of our personal needs—in fact I was trained to pretty much keep all of my time open in case someone needed me for something.  We planned one vacation a year and the rest of the time you never took time off if you needed it, not even if you were sick.  You did things as you were told when you were told.  That meant over committing in a lot of circumstances or doing things you didn’t want to do.  It was 100% about being liked and perceived as reliable.  Asking for help was selfish, not to be reciprocated.  So that type of life meant learning to do what I wanted for myself on my own, and many times I would fail to see it through because the habit of finishing other people’s things or meeting their expectations always took precedence. 

As I’ve aged, the habit of people pleasing is still there and it’s super easy to fall back into it.  The positive is that I’m aware of it now.  I also realized that the overwhelm happens when there are things you simply can’t do or don’t want to do and you force yourself to do them.  Now, I’m not advocating for selfishness in terms of making sure everything you do is for you, I’m advocating for balance.  There are simply some things we have to do but we don’t need to sacrifice what we want.  I’ve learned that life is about give and take, push and pull, adding and subtracting.  There are moments we won’t be able to do it all—physically or mentally we simply can’t.  So if there is something that needs to be done, regardless of what or who for, then something else can not be done.  Similarly, if there is a new project you’re taking on, then there are other things you can’t take on. 

This is about subtracting when you add.  It’s removing the extraneous that no longer serves before taking on something else.  It’s about prioritizing what matters and sticking with it—not out of guilt but out of what fits and makes sense in your life.  It’s simple physics, we can’t do it all and we know this, but so many of us still try whether it is from guilt or determination or proving.  It’s great to have goals but being everything to everyone doesn’t need to be one of them because you lose yourself in the process.  It’s healthy to push ourselves and it’s even healthier to know our boundaries and enforce them.  You don’t need to prove anything to anyone, you just need to secure your own happiness, no matter what that looks like.  Don’t overwhelm yourself for the sake of others.  Take the time you need, know what you need, and stick with that.  It all balances out in the end.