“When it’s clear that everything will never be the same again, make the choice to hear that voice, and do the next right thing,” Frozen 2. As humans we search for meaning and comfort and security. For so many of us, security is knowing what will happen next. The truth is, there is NO WAY to know what will come our way. Even the best laid plans can fail or take a detour. Life is not linear and planning for every possible eventuality is exhausting. Trust me, I’ve lived it. Things happen that you never see coming. Things happen out of your time frame. You can plan for something and it never happens or it happens years down the road. In those cases, it still hits you from left field because you weren’t expecting it when it comes.
Life is dynamic and it is meant to be that way. The very nature of nature is dynamic and hardly anything ever stays the same. I’ve said it before, but we are not trees. And in reality, even trees change their colors, lose their leaves, and start again. Life moves whether we are prepared for it or not. Learning to trust that each move is meant to happen is really scary. When we have a plan we feel will work and it goes wonky, it’s easy to fall into the “why me” or “poor me” mindset. It’s hard to find the lesson when we were attached to an outcome or when we truly believed something was meant to go a certain way.
The beautiful thing about the ebb and flow of life is the absolute ride it is. Whatever we don’t understand in the moment will always reveal itself as making sense at some point. When things look like they’re about to take a turn, my advice is simple: LEAN IN. Every human on this planet has moments where things are never the same. Some are gradual where we evolve and it may appear nothing is happening but we slowly realize that we are not who we were before. Others are immediate and we are thrust into it with no warning. Some of these things we prepare for (like having a child or getting a new job) and others we know are coming but we don’t know when (something breaks or there’s a death). No matter what it is, we are not the same and we always have a choice.
I’ve spoken many times about evolution and the purpose of change and the choices we have when we are faced with any type of situation that requires us to get outside of the box. Whether we have control of the situation or not is irrelevant—we always have control of how we respond. We are not alone when our worlds shift. That is the only constant we can expect: that things will change. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to recreate or hold onto my past, a past I idolatrized to my own detriment. I’ve carried the weight of things and times long gone by in hopes that I could get that feeling again. Wishing for things to be the same does nothing but keep us out of our present alignment and prevents us from achieving our goals or fulfilling our purpose.
So when you face these moments, be brave enough to accept what is happening. Acknowledge that where you’re going is not where you’ve been, admit that what is happening isn’t working, accept that something different needs to be done. Don’t let the fact that something is different deter you from the possibilities it may bring. Don’t let fear stop you from opening up to something great, something that may be exactly what you need. Just get out of your own way and take the next right step. Remember, when things look like they’re falling apart, they may actually be falling together.